toes 2.0

14 Nov

I left work early today so I could go to A&E. After the horror stories I’ve heard about toes, I did not particularly want to risk having done some serious damage. I’m not *that* much of a hypochondriac (at least, I don’t tend to act on my hypochondriacal worryings) – this was my first A&E visit for a very long time. I was going to say ever but then I remembered the time I sprayed disinfectant in my eyes. Best not to ask. Anyway, I thought that I would take the plunge because it really was very blue and rather numb and then kind of pins-and-needles-y. And y’know, that’s not how a toe is supposed to feel. So off I hobbled.

A long wait, some x-rays, and a walk-past by the dishiest doctor EVER (no, but actually) and they told me it wasn’t broken, there was nothing they could do and they’d tape it up for me (I think to make me feel like I’d not gone away empty-footed, if you will). By this time I was practically weeping in frustration at a) having wasted everyone’s time b) severe discomfort and c) being the only person on their own in the waiting room. I was intermittently blubbing all the way home at my inability not to cry, my own uselessness and my general dissatisfaction with life.

I’ve possibly overdone it with the tricolon there but the points stand.

How do you be a happy person? When everything is shit, where are you supposed to start with the changes?

Today I was happy when I was reading a really interesting article about Catullus in my lunch break, when I was eating an ice cream after I got home, and when I was watching the Great British Bake Off (and yes, also The Midwives). Maybe I need to make happy lists. Maybe it’ll give me a better idea of what it is I actually like doing, and how I can go about getting there. Maybe it’ll help me sort my [non] life out.

I’m open to suggestions. I don’t know what I’m doing, but you might. Answers on a postcard and all that X


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