bears

14 Nov

The unifying thread of this post is bears. What may appear to be a sequence of random anecdotes are all related in that they have bears in common. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris? (That’s Catullus, that is. I’m educating you all. Look it up. Google is your friend). No, I don’t know either. I feel as though I’ve been depriving you of my wit and hilarity (lol) for a few days and this was the first title that popped into my head. And, oddly, it seemed to resonate with quite a few little things that have been occurring recently in my life. So here they are, in no particular order.

Today I made polar bear cupcakes. Here is a picture for you:

They are polar bears because they are white chocolate sponge, with a white chocolate cream cheese frosting (the ones with the whiskers I think of as white mice; you can make your own decision). I once read somewhere that polar bears hide their noses behind lumps of snow etc when hunting in order to fully camouflage themselves, because the nose is the only stand-out dark feature on their body. Thus when I made a cake that was all-white, I decided it had to be polar-bear themed. And so it was. They took all morning to make but by jiminy they are delicious. I would not be surprised to learn that white chocolate cream cheese frosting is what the gods eat on Mt Olympus. I might get a little wristband that says WCCCF, like those WWJD ones.

Next bear anecdote. The other day, before school/work/life, I was eating breakfast in the kitchen and my sister was reading. We frequently have the radio on in the mornings because actually talking to each other is a bit much to ask. As a family, we’ve been through a variety of radio stations, discarding ones that play too many adverts, or too much talking, or not enough cheesy music. Anyway, we had been listening to Smooth FM for a while, but our radio seems to be struggling with it at the moment. We have therefore moved to Smooth 70s, which my parents love (obvs) and my sister pretends to despise. It did, nonetheless, afford us a moment of brilliance at this juncture in time. A song came on the radio. It seemed to be about bears. Disbelieving, we pretended to ignore it for a bit, but it got to the point where we could only look in wonderment at each other. It was definitely about bears. We could only listen in awe and astonishment. We had missed the introduction; we have been hoping to hear it again since. If anyone knows a song about bears that may have been a hit in the 70s or possibly earlier, send it this way.

Other things about bears. I have a pair of what I call my ‘christmas pyjamas’. I bought these in 3rd year when I was sharing a flat with the Delightful Emily. Emily and I decided that we should get a pair of hilarious christmas pyjamas each, as presents to ourselves, to wear around the flat, for sleeping and festive-themed baking. Duly we went to Primark and obtained – for Emily, a pair of red pyjamas with deer and snowflakes; for me – a pair of blue pyjamas with polar bears in scarves and hats (now you see the bear connection). These are not alluring or particularly high quality pyjamas, you understand. They are Primark christmas pyjamas. They are what (I imagine) one opens on Christmas day, and wears for the day, and then retires for the rest of the year until the following Christmas eve. I, however, love my Christmas pyjamas. They are too heavy to wear in the summer, but now that the weather has changed, they have come back with a bang. There’s something incredibly joyous about polar bears with scarves on. Perhaps that will be my next baking adventure.

Another thing about bears. Are you familiar with the song ‘the bear necessities’, from Disney’s ‘The Jungle Book’? No? Well, you should be. It’s excellent. I, perhaps, am overly familiar with it, which is why I can recite the tongue-twister-esque section sung by Baloo (the bear) about the pear and the paw and claw and.. well, anyway. I slightly alarmed Michael with this the other evening when we were whiling away the time on Sporcle (an online quizzing community, where people write quizzes of varying fiendishness in order to challenge the obscure trivia-knowledge of their peers). We were tackling a quiz about Disney songs – I think it was name the song from the lyric section, or name the film from the song title, something like that – and I was able to recite this to him. I don’t know why it sticks in my head. It just does.

Final bear point. Tut tut, it looks like rain.

I don’t think I can find a way of relating the two, otherwise I’d tell you about my bone marrow biopsy (nothing serious, apparently, they just want to find out why my blood is funny). It’s really painful. I suppose being attacked by a bear would be quite painful too. Bears don’t use long surgical needles and subsequently hide them from you so as not to freak you out, though. Likewise, I can’t think of a way of bringing my awesome new satchel into the discussion (it is awesome. It is new. It is bright blue. I’m going to use it every day. I love it). Well, never mind. You’ve heard about them now.

Right, bedtime. Sleep tight, and if you dream of bears, I hope they are the friendly sort.

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